ost—拜托拜托聽一下, please please listen to it
嗨，我現在要挑戰只用中文寫一封文章。今天的主題是世界上最最棒的電視劇：當我飛奔向你。其實他也不能算是電視劇，他比則想寶貴的感情。我一看完就跟朋友説， 感覺好像心理有個部分少了。我分不太出來到底是不是看完的痛苦還是找不到對的人的痛苦。
anyways, that was enough chinese. i bet theres too many mistakes to count already. i don’t usually do this—write a blog for every show that i watch, but this one had a special place in my heart. i ran through 24 episodes during midterm week 😱 if there is one thing that you have to watch in your life its this.
thank you to yung kai i found this show—blue, you should give it a listen. to me, its one of those things where it doesn’t seem special until you keep remembering it, over and over again. when i first heard of blue i didn’t think it was anything special—until i started singing it everyday, and became the soundtrack to my life.
‼️ spoilers ahead ‼️
to all the hidden touches, cinematography details, everything was done perfectly. i really love the details that were put in. rang rang, just like everyone else, i fell under your spell. zai zai, 我多想當你. but i really am jealous of their relationship. one without all the strings, without the drama—just two people genuinely in love. i am praying for that love. the kind where you notice when the other is lying, when something is off with them and only you know, and when you dont have to say what you mean.
little rant here, skip if u want:
lurang: hes really a dream. but one thing that i noticed was i think i am just as introverted as he is. but he saves his real smiles only for her, notices the cilantro in her food and picks it out, and knows her even better than she knows herself. as his friend said: hes the kind of guy to not say a lot. to express it through actions. for him, taking one step towards you feels hard. if he walks slowly, take the opportunity to walk into his world. i actually feel like this could be about me. only i fake it. when i know im meeting up with someone, i almost always make a conversation list of what to say. when they are talking i think about what to talk about next. always scared that people will find me boring if i dont have a next sentence when my brain is working overtime. if i could, i would be like lurang. but im not special enough for it. in china hes cool because he gets good grades, here, i would be a nerd. but i want someone like him, that smiles for me, that sees all sides of me, that cares too much.
zaizai: how i want to be her. she’s perfect, and reminds me of someone. annie, im so jealous of you. how are you so amazingly perfect? 雖然我不能當他我還是有我自己。我不能拘束的討厭我自己，也不用嫉妒別人的好而不喜歡他們。我一直想不通我到底是誰，而問了我自己為什麽有呢麽多的假面子。但我自己也不確定那些是真，哪些是假。就算我有我的家人可以幫我，我沒有其他人了。我很怕告訴我的朋友我到底在煩惱什麽，怕沒人理解。但應爲這一樣子而去追別人也不太對。所以，看別人的時候不能只用一個“他對我有多少幫助” 的眼光，需要慢慢去瞭解他是怎麽做人的。
wifty friend group：哎呀，what i wouldn’t give to have a friendship like that. i don’t know if im just desperately craving a relationship, but ive always focused on a relationship over friends. it won’t be that hard to ask for a guy’s number, but i could just never do it. if you find me someone that watches wifty i guarantee well be a match. but i have to learn to let loose. be carefree around people, and have fun. you cant pretend to be superior forever. and use them as motivation, let’s be better people together is one of my all-time favorite quotes.
there are some gorgeous quotes that made me cry:
life’s a train: some people get off at certain stops, but some people will stay with you until the end. i think that i’m so lost on this train. i’m in a lot of people’s trains, but mine isn’t going steadily. but thats ok, it would be boring if we didn’t give the passengers a ride
all encounters in life are reunions after a long time apart: when my grandparents left i pretended to be looking for something so that they wouldnt have to see the free flowing tears that i promised were not coming, only when my grandma told me that they were actually going that i sobbed into her. lo and behold i saw her again that year. the end of this show feels like that—an emptiness of losing someone important. wifty has become a part of my identity, and although it may be kind of cringe, i want to experience the love from the movie. the teenage love with that one person that knows me better than myself.
if i exist, my love for you exists. if i dont like you anymore, i wouldnt be me. sometimes i just need to enjoy the slow moments where i dont do anything. sometimes i feel that aching in my heart, calling for someone to hold. but i do want to tell myself something: stop changing youself for others. you hate the person you become when you are unrecognizable and changing so that others dont look down on you. so what? who cares if i talk to one person or not, try not to be so afraid of yourself. t-3-4 weeks before valentines day. i know ive been doing too much chasing—let it find you. find the person that will say that it wouldnt be them if they said they didnt like you. it’s forever.
my top three 👆 but all of the heartfelt confessions make my english poems seem like nothing, zhang lurang, gu ran, su zai zai, jiang jia, guan fang, their confessions to each other are so real. if anyone said something like that i would tell them that they are my reason for living.
bonus: the charm of youth is never about getting what you want, but about a very unexpected tomorrow and every person you meet by chance
hey，我來説個沒説過的秘密：我一直很想去亞洲的國家上學，但我還是怕回來沒辦法適應。想想看，可能高中畢業后可以去體驗體驗亞洲的生活。雖然我的表姐們都説功課很多，我覺得他們的生活真的是跟我們的比起來，充分多了。但我這一樣子聽起來真的要太多了。
there are so many small details (haha ifykyk abt the time)…please please watch it, i will love you forever
ps: if anyone finds a zhang lurang please let me know, i need 1…
我想找到一個我開心的時候比我還開心的，我難過的時候跟我一起難過但是幫著我，一個我一睡覺和起來就會想到的那個人。但，在等的時間還是要好好的用：我們一起當好一點的人吧！